5 Different Ways to Engage Children with Behavioral Challenges
- bellerdavisbooks
- Dec 5, 2020
- 5 min read
Having children in your class or at home that have any sort of behavior challenges, which are generally hard to understand or control within any moment. Those moments can be hard on anyone, even the child. The child who has no idea what they are trying to communicate, ending up crying or hitting themselves or you, and we are just trying to make them happy, is a frustrating cycle.
Here I'll introduce a few helpful tips to at least take a little stress load off of you and your children
1. Spending Time
Let's first think about our day-to-day schedule and what it consists of, however, your schedule is, if that means you are running around doing twenty errands all at once or your schedule is more flexible.
Whatever it may be, count how many times within that day you are relaxing with your child/children.
Are there any downtimes where you are reading books together or watching a movie together?
Any hands-on activity you can correlate with them could even mean involving them in the errands.
Kids need to feel loved and cared for. Parents need to be truly present in their children’s lives and the best way to do this is to spend time with them on a regular basis.
WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR KIDS
Great, step one is done! wasn't that easy, well hold your belt buckle we are not done.
2. Routine
I've bet you heard it a million times, you are probably thinking "Obviously" but hear me out. As a teacher and someone who was labeled as ‘VERY’ challenging as a kid, routines help me not be scared of the unknown. Every child needs that ability to predict the next step than to be thrown off their routine.
A silver lining about the pandemic is we are free to let our child make their routine. They can be in charge of what they want. A sense of control. And yes, I hear it now "Belle, why would I let my child make their own decision when they are just a child, they can't even clean their room." I hear the struggle from miles away. But you haven't seen the rest, children of any age are always looking for a reason to have control.
Why not give them a chance to make their own choices, especially when we are now working-from-home and need to relax during calls. That doesn't mean we are neglecting them or letting them act wild. It’s showing them that they can be trusted to make their own choices via picking their own outfits, choosing to clean up either books, or picking up toys. These choices in a routine don’t have to be big but big enough to help you and your child feel comfortable.
Routines are whatever you make it to be.
Be creative, make it simple, and enjoy the process.
My class has a calendar that lists activities for each day and hourly with photos and words describing events. Parents you don’t have to go to that extent but it could help them and you to know
“oh yeah, tomorrow is pizza and movie night!” or “In two minutes Jax needs to go for a walk”.
3. Exercise
Remember when we were in school and gym was a requirement, well there was a big reason why. Having to be still or be stuck in one space can be very nerve-wracking. Our children especially find it even more nerve-wracking, when they are literally a ball of energy, they end up poking us for attention. And man, that is not fun when you have other things to do or have a meeting and they're in the background repeating your name every two seconds. Don't get me started on not leaving us alone when all you need to do is just pee for a second. Getting the right amount of exercise for your little monster can go a long way.
Create a simple game, even a simple looong game.
‘How fast can you clean up the toys, and do 12 spins before I am done peeing’
interactive YouTube videos that get them up and moving!
Teens on the other hand chores might be the easiest way to get them moving besides having them go run errands by walking to the nearby store.
Nancy Barile gives a beautiful explanation with far more detail in her article "Exercise and the Brain: How Fitness Impacts Learning" for my science nerds.
4. Their own space
even young children need a place to unwind, to emote, to express anger, and to most importantly, be alone with their thoughts and feelings.--a place where you can find some calm, peace, and quiet... some down time.--that place can be her sanctuary -- her own room.
By Dr. Gail Gross, Ph.D.
Like Dr. Grail Gross has stated, a space a child can call their own is calming and gives them control. With so much going on with them and the people around them, they can feel and express our stress as their own, having a place to escape will help the anger or uncontrollable impulses.
that could be their room
or just a little spot in the backyard.
Somewhere where you can state to them ’this is your hideout where you can make it whatever you want it to be and allow whoever you want.’ emphasize their space!
5. Communication
From my experience, being able to communicate what we need or expect from our child/children with challenging behaviors, helps them understand their surroundings. Especially when they get overstimulated by the unknown, practicing their communication skills will help them and us understand when they feel something coming up or help us understand how to prevent it from coming up again randomly.
Like I mentioned before, routines and communication go hand and hand when it comes to the overwhelming feeling of not knowing what's happening next, and not being able to express what the feeling or sensation is. Can get out of hand and having the practice of routines, and developing communication skills will help improve over time.
It can be as easy as asking how their day was
or expressing our day, giving them an example of what communicating feelings should look like.
You can even have a movie night and have a cute little discussion on what they watch and how they felt.
Keep it simple, you’ll eventually burn out, if not kept in control and simple manner.
Raisingchildren.net.au has some great tips on communicating well with babies and children.
With that being said, I wish you good luck with your journey. No matter how many tools you have under your belt children with challenging behaviors are not the same and will constantly change. Even when they are adults it'll still be hard. All we can do is help them understand themselves and help guide them to success.
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